Today's the last day of my teenage years.

When put like that it sounds tremendously significant, when all it really is is just another day. Another day before a birthday. Another year.

Today's the last day I have the '-teen' tag attached to my age. Tomorrow the digits shift. Big numbers. Big girl. (Hopefully.)

Which sends me into panic: What have I wanted to do in my teenage years that I've not done? Some sheer act of stupidity? Something to show for my years lived with bad posture, pimples and an outstanding lack of social grace?

A navel piercing? A tattoo? A skittles manicure? A second, third, fourth piercing in my ears?

I always thought I'd get a navel piercing at eighteen. It was one of those things defiant fourteen-year-olds dream of alone in their bedrooms; the day they would become certain of themselves.

I'm twenty tomorrow and I haven't found that certainty yet.

As a girl I always dreamed of being a teenager; life after teens was unimagined because I thought I'd simply evolve into one of those women who squeezed into the MRT every day to go to their office job, with wet hair and a distinct discomfort.

As it is, life after eighteen savours of anticlimax. I have missed my stop, I've zoomed right past that stage of life where one is supposed to be cool and edgy. Whoever heard of being cool at nineteen or twenty? I shall not even begin to talk about the twentysomething years where life suddenly shrinks to a timeline and it all becomes about having to do something, not wanting to do it.

I guess.. in my teenage life I've done some stupid things. I've obsessed over boys, even almost to the point of stalking them, I've made promises I broke in the end, I've experimented with hideous makeup looks (glittery blusher at the age of 13), gotten drunk... Mostly things teenage girls do I guess.

So as I sit here, a day before twenty, still with pimples, semi-bad posture and only one piercing in each ear, I realise that tomorrow will just be another day, and so will be my birthday. And the days after that for all the rest of the years. I may not have attained the hallmarks of teenhood, god knows if I'll ever attain the hallmarks of adulthood, but ultimately I'll still feel the same.

What I'll miss about teenhood is the protection that comes with it-- being a teenager, you automatically get away with some things. Smoke? It's ok, you're a teenager. Skip school? It's ok, you're a teenager. Teenhood gives you that license, that blanket of protection that assumes you're still young and naive, and therefore relieved of responsibilities.

People are not as forgiving of adults, I guess. They're expected to know things, pull themselves together and take charge-- and if they don't, they are no longer forgivingly labeled naive, but incompetent.

And yet I know there has to be adults out there who never quite felt like they grew up; those who hide behind layers of mascara and powder; behind the jingling of car keys and an empty cocktail glass rimmed with lipstick.

When will life ever catch up with us? Or more accurately.. When will we catch up with life?

Sometimes i think it's sad that i'm 20 ,yet i choose to stay at home instead of partying with my friends. I'm not a party animal ( though people tend to base their judgement on specific Facebook photos.. sure, lemme get my camera and take pictures of me watching Glee/Vampire Diaries /HIMYM ) but i'm all for  living it up while you can. i'm just so.. lazy. 

 The Labbie and i were laughing about how 3 of us were like retirees lounging on the couch watching the SImpsons on Halloween , in our ``costumes'' , feasting on junk food.. and NO BOOZE *dum dum duuuuuuum*. 

Yes, i write random things when i procrastinate.


P.S Everyone go watch Glee please.( after exams of course) You won't regret it.

Tags: life
Current Music: Halo/Walking on Sunshine- Glee OST

cause we're living in a world of fools
breaking us down
when they all should let us be
we belong to you and me

I have nothing more to say.

The empire strikes back

In recent weeks, we've taken huge steps towards blocking spam accounts on LiveJournal. In fact, we've suspended as many as 30,000 accounts in a single day! We've implemented several pre-emptive measures to prevent the creation of spam accounts, and we've honed our detection of suspicious content. Spam bots are a crafty lot, so we'll continue to refine our tactics and keep up the good fight to keep you safe from spam attacks on LiveJournal.

RSS feeds again

If you're addicted to xkcd_rss, icanhaschzbrgr, or other syndicated feeds, we're pleased to report that we've resolved the update error that was mucking up your RSS feeds. While content was being pulled correctly, it wasn't being posted to the feeds themselves. Late last week, we finally nailed down what we hope was the root problem, so content should post properly. We thank you for your patience.

Wii have killer CSI Deadly Intent contests!

c_s_i

If you're a gamer who loves CSI, have Wii got news for you! c_s_i is sponsoring killer contests. Simply post a question to a member of the CSI crew. The winner will get a free copy of CSI: Deadly Intent for Nintendo Wii (with a retail value of $39.99) and get their question answered by a member of the CSI writing team! There's also a fantastic monthly contest. To enter, join c_s_i, play the online version of CSI: Deadly Intent, and respond to a two-part query for a chance to win a Wii! Entries will be judged on composition and originality. Sorry, but you must be a U.S. resident and over 18 years old to participate. Check out the rules here.

Enveloped in postcards

Last week, we asked you to send in postcards to help us decorate our drab concrete walls. Here's a photo of the results so far! Thank you so much and please keep them coming! You can mail them to Frank the Goat, Esq., c/o LiveJournal, Inc., 539 Bryant Street, Suite 210, San Francisco, CA 94107. Be sure to include your username, since we'll be giving ten random users paid account credits.

Photos of the week

If you haven't visited our new LiveJournal photo community, you're in for an amazing visual trip. LiveJournal users from around the world will take you on a scenic journey to everywhere. Post your own pictures or kick back and enjoy at lj_photophile. You can view some of this week's awesome photos after the jump. Please start tagging with geographic location, since we'd like to track all the places around the world represented in this community. Keep on commenting too!
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Tags: csi, photos of the week, postcards, rss, spam, writer's block

And the word of the day is ennui. Ennui, my dears, means a state of mind where you feel tired, sick of things, like you're stuck in a rut. Basically the whole concept of ennui is neatly encapsulated in the word 'sian'. This is why I like Singlish, you know. So succinct.

Anyway, Pat Wong taught us a LOT of new words. They are:

Simulacrum
Fin De Siede
Panopticon
Orgiastic
Ennui

And lots more I can't remember.

I like Panopticon best. Sounds like a new character in Transformers. I mean they have Decepticon, why not Panopticon too?

Feeling ennui-ous tonight. Tried eating chocolate, which is always a treat, but nah. Borrowed my mom's strawberry body butter, which was my xmas gift to her, but it failed to cheer me up either.

Craving hot comforting soup. Made by a certain someone, who also goes by the name of The Boyfriend.

I did a fucking foolish thing just now.

It's my habit to get out my bunch of keys as I'm approaching my block, so that's what I did just now, when I was walking along under the block adjacent to mine. It's one of those blocks where people live on the ground floor.

I found my keys in my bag, and pulled them out. Now my keys are all on this keyring that is closed by two metal balls at each end. It's something Vivian gave to me when I was fifteen, and I've had it for five years. The problem is, the connecting ball tends to get loose sometimes, and I've had more than one mishap before when the ball came loose and everything fell off. Those times, however, the keys simply fell into my bag so I didn't have trouble finding them.

Not this time, however. As I yanked them from my bag, the ball came loose, and the force caused some keys to fly off the keyring and land with a plink-- among some potted plants along the corridor.

I panicked and bent down to look for them. I found one, and began looking for the other two, plus the silver treble cleft that was given to me by Yuzhen and usually hangs on the keyring, as well as the ball, which I honestly thought was lost forever since it was so tiny.

The thing was, it was dark. And that's not the worst of it-- the plants were the leafy fern kind, and there were a lot of dark gaps between the pots, and EVERYTHING WAS WET WITH RAIN. So whenever I thought I saw my keys gleaming among leaves, it always turned out to be just droplets of water. I seriously thought I was fucked.

I hunted for about ten minutes, even walking out to see if the keys had fallen into the longkang. It was so hard to see because everything was dark and gleaming wet.

So as a last resort I called my mom, and she came down with a torch and we hunted for the keys. My mom decided that we had to move the potted plants, so she called to the auntie who owned the place. She too came out, in her batik dress and curlers, and the three of us hunted for the missing keys I had foolishly dropped.

Imagine this: three people squatting to look for keys among potted plants in some absurd scavenger hunt, in the dark and in the drizzle. More than once I had to pause to laugh at the situation, because we looked so silly, and then I quickly shut up because I remembered it was all because of my foolishness.

We searched and searched, but we really couldn't find them. So my mom apologised to the auntie and said we'd search in the morning, and the auntie was very nice about it. I apologised too. And on the way back my mom gave me a good scolding for my carelessness.

When we reached home, I went to my room and started taking things out of my bag...

And from the pile, I retrieved: two house keys, one silver treble cleft, and one tiny ball.

Fuck.

I really am an idiot.

EDIT: My mom couldn't stop laughing. And saying how stupid I was. She said to look into the mirror and see how silly I looked. Now I really do have to get the auntie a cake or something, I feel so bad making her come out to hunt for nonexistent keys.

1am on a wednesday morning. I'm relishing the fact that there are no more aae202 tutorials at 8.30, and I will do everything in my power to avoid 8.30 tuts in future.

Turning twenty in less than a week. I'm actually a bit scared no one will remember my birthday. Because a lot of people only remember when they see it on their facebook, and sadly I've deactivated my fb account. But we shall see when the time comes.

27 Nov's still happening though.

Watched Bolt during dinner. I liked the hamster.



During the scene where he panted in excitement, causing his ball to completely steam up, I laughed so hard I cried. Even thinking about it now gives me the giggles.

Ah well. Nothing beats a good laugh.